Today, two students sent me two different papers, and I gave them opposite advice.
To student A, I wrote: Please get rid of that “I!”
To student B, I wrote: This is good, but it would be better if you used “I.”
How do you know when it is okay to use “I,” in other words to refer to yourself in a paper? This is a question that comes up a lot in the workshop. The answer is (as always): It depends on what you are writing, why you are writing (purpose), and who you are writing for (audience).
Student A was writing an informative paper on Ulysses S. Grant. This is how she started:
Ulysses S. Grant was more than just a general; he was a hero, family man, a smart man and a leader. Grant fought in the Civil War and was a great victor, but there’s more to him than the wars he fought and the men he led to victory. I’ve had the privilege to learn about his background, personal life, married life, his time in the war, his thoughts on slavery and his accomplishments.
Because this is an informative essay on a topic that has nothing to do with the writer’s personal life, it is best to leave out the “I.” This would be a good replacement for that last line:
To get a complete picture of the man, one must consider his background, personal life, married life, and thoughts on slavery, in addition to his accomplishments in the military.
Student B, on the other hand, was writing a personal essay about why it is wonderful to grow up with sisters. (The writer has four.) She started her paper like this:
“What would you like for your birthday, sweetie?” Mom asked little Joy. “Mom, there’s something that I want more than anything in the world,” Joy replied. “I want a sister.” Have you ever wanted a sister to share things with, someone other than annoying boys, and someone to be your best friend? No matter where they are, sisters are always best friends, and are always there when you need them. Some of the best things about having an “all-of-a-kind” family will be explained today.
One rule of thumb is that if you are writing a personal essay (the purpose of which is to express your thoughts and feelings), then it is almost always okay to use the word “I.” Moreover, using the word “I” in this case helps the writer to establish credibility with the reader. If the reader knows that the writer has had personal experience with the topic at hand, then he is more likely to listen to the writer’s thoughts on that topic! A good revision would look something like this:
“What would you like for your birthday, sweetie?” Mom asked little Joy. “Mom, there’s something that I want more than anything in the world,” Joy replied. “I want a sister.” Have you ever wanted a sister to share things with, someone other than annoying boys, and someone to be your best friend? Well, I can’t blame you for that! I have four sisters, and I can say that growing up in a family full of girls is a wonderful blessing. No matter where they are, sisters are always best friends and are always there when you need them.
So, in one case we take out an “I”; in the other case we add one in. Just another day in Ms. Scribbles Workshop!
Thanks to the students who let me share their work. I am looking forward to seeing your revisions!
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